A Reason To Live

Xenet 71.43.1 System Msg

TTY31201.10.14

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Spent the entire day at the front lines. Orders from the higher ups. Everyone gets a turn I guess. The trenches take a lot out of you, but man, are they ugly. Scary too. You see that much death and you begin to question a lot. Then your buddy dies right next to you, and everything flashes before your eyes. I know I saw mine.

I remember being on earth and the life I had led there. At the time of the Bane attack, my life was in the dumps. I dreamed of being a film maker, but was one of the unlucky ones. One college graduation and two part time jobs later and I was nobody, a has been. And I was only twenty-five. Some life. Then the Bane attacked. At first I was scared, like everyone else. Then I looked at my life, and the Bane seemed like a god send. I prayed for death and even headed for it.

Instead I was taken to one of the worm holes and shipped out. Now here I am. I'm a soldier, one of the guys who carries the heavy stuff. I decided to write this up at a terminal in case it should be my last message. Some of you may be down in the dumps. Some of you may never even see home again. But, no matter what your life was once like, no matter who you were before, everyone has a reason to live now. Even a chump like me, who never amounted to anything. And that's enough to get me through the day.

~ Freeden

-Why I Fight-

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TTY31201.10.13

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Every time I go into the field, I remember back to a few things from Before. They give me strength when I need it and empowers me. I think it's the true edge our enemies don't possess.

I think back to the moment my wife was shot in the dark. The cold air hitting my cheeks as I ran through the woods firing back at them. I remember that last Thrax's face, knowing he was soiling himself as I charged him. I remember the refreshing, yet sickening thud of the shotgun butt as it crushed his skull. Repeatedly.

I also think back to that night to give me a little bit of rage when I need it.

Going back to her, and holding her. Wishing she wasn't really gone. Knowing that those bastards didn't just kill *her* that night. There was no movement anymore. No kicks indicating he was still alive.

I fight for my Wife and Soulmate, killed at my side.

I fight for my unborn child, murdered in her womb.

I fight for all Humans, who are suddenly in danger of extinction.

I fight for all Free Sentients willing to stand up to The Bane.

I fight...for survival.

— SSgt Xanthias

Why are We Here?

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TTY31201.10.05

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The question came up last night while we were hunkered down outside Wilderness. Damn Bane swarmed it again and it took all god damn day to get them out. Anyway, Private McQueen was bitching that he’d already burned through half his rations. He’s got to learn that hunger isn’t like it was on Earth… you can’t just feed it. You can’t pop in to a burger joint and stuff yourself with a combo meal. He’ll learn eventually. A couple nights with no food and he’ll learn. Just like we all had to.

Sometimes I marvel at how much has changed… how much I’ve changed. I remember on Earth, Alicia and I kept blogs… we’d gripe about our college classes and gossip about the latest new bands. We never talked about anything meaningful… nothing profound, but we talked. We shared. Here, you don’t have time to share much of anything at all. Even your rations. But there is something freeing about being able to give your thoughts form and share them. So I wandered over to one of the AFS data terminals, and well… here I am.

If you’re like me, you have no one left. Family… friends… all taken by the Bane. All we really have is each other now. We are all here because of the Bane. But why are we really here.. what are we fighting for? I know that each of you has a story to tell. So, maybe some of you will join me here to share your thoughts and give them form. After all, we’re starting to learn just how powerful language can be.

~ Sarah