What is Happening?
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Only when you are pulled back from service, from duty, from hell, do you get time to think about what is happening around you.
It wasn't always like this. We all had family, friends, a place to stay, safe from everything… Or so we thought. The Bane had attacked us, their technology completely uprooting everything we had worked for centuries to accomplish. We didn't die as they'd hoped, however. Though, looking around at the ranks of dead and dying here at the hospital, it doesn't look like much was left before they accomplished their goal. But why?
Ortho Base, the one place where you didn't want to be. Doorstep to the front lines of the war. But that's not why I'm writing this, not to complain, but to think. The Bane had attacked us, unraveling what took us a while to make, for what purpose? I wouldn't be thinking, or writing this if one of them hadn't gotten a lucky shot at my ribcage. But since he... or she did, don't know how Alien Races handle gender, I have this time to question what purpose the bloodshed holds.
Was it out of jealousy? Had the Benefactors chosen us over them?
Was it fear? The Bane being afraid of us, fearing what we are capable of?
Two separate sides, the same emotion. Makes you wonder if the AFS and the Bane are really all that different.
Well, the CO is coming, better shut this off.
-Gunnery Sergeant Erwin Levockal
The Simple Things
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Made it through another day and I'm glad I'm able to write again. I had to get this one down because it almost brought a tear to my eye. I was on patrol today out near Alias Das. I admire it there. It's peaceful, mostly. One of the few places that humans can go and get some kind of peace. Even with the soldiers and guns around, you can appreciate the quiet compared to the front lines. As I was walking around, I realized something. Foreas has no squirrels.
When I made the realization, I was taken back to earth. I was taken to a time when I went to college in Southern California. The campus was covered with trees and squirrels were abundant. I remember sitting under a tree with a book and being distracted by the squirrels as they foraged the ground, chased each other around, and searched the lunch tables for food. I was fascinated by them, but then that was just my love for nature. For some reason, the squirrels brought me peace. They made me happy.
Foreas doesn't have squirrels. They have boargars. They have skitterns. No squirrels. I try not to think about it, cause it makes me miss Earth, and when I miss Earth my performance as a soldier goes down. But, I can't help but be sad. On the other hand, I have a higher appreciation for things now. It's amazing, you don't realize what you really miss until it's gone. I guess we can all appreciate the simple things now.
~ Kolber
Good and Evil
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I guess I always thought that life would always be the same. Oh sure, there would be minor differences, but day to day it should have been get up, go to work, go to sleep. And I guess in a way it is. Except that I wake up in a military bunker, and my work consists of killing stuff all day. This isn't right. I keep thinking I'll wake up and it will all be a bad dream. But every morning, I wake up, and I go out and kill, and I go to sleep.
What does that make me? I had to turn Daniel over to the AFS officer. I met him once or twice before that, he was always a nice guy. And the AFS never says exactly what they do with people like that, but I'm not thick. No one's seen him since. Are we really any better than the Bane? At least then Bane experiment on their enemies, not their own soldiers. Is the AFS really on the good side? If you have to become your enemy in order to defeat him, have you accomplished anything? I'm sure Jayjack and the others believe they are fighting war against evil, but what about the guys on the sidelines who are willing to sacrifice their own to do a little damage to the enemy. The Geneva Convention doesn't even apply, because there is no Geneva anymore. Oh, I'm not suggesting we give up, and become pacifists like the Cormans... But we really need to rethink who we are, and what we want to be. Tabula Rasa - a clean slate. It is what you make it. The question is, what are YOU going to make it?
And just like every other day, I wake up, I go to work, and I go to sleep.
Shishire Maiga
Ranger Second Class
Nightmares
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It seems like forever since I've been out here on this forsaken planet guarding some swamp city the Foreans consider sacred. Don't get me wrong the Foreans are great allies to have against the bane, but I don't know if humanity could ever see their way of life. The Forean elders tell me they used to be a highly technological society much like earth was, but it was their downfall they poisoned their own planet and were miraculously rescued by the Eloh who set them up on Foreas where they now appreciate nature. If only the Eloh could've saved Earth.
I've tried so hard to shake off the nightmares of seeing those humans on those strange tables in the Pravus Research Facility. What the bane were trying to accomplish is beyond my reasoning high command said they were making a wormhole. Imagine what would happen to the universe should they succeed in that.
I do remember my squad mates running with me through the accursed place. We just all kept saying live another day, that was basically our motto to keep ourselves going. These are tough times for everyone being stationed so far out from a core AFS base like Fort Defiance is hard. The bane incursions just don't stop and their mother ship looming in the sky is definitely a thing of nightmares. I'll write more tomorrow...if I come back to live another day.
~ Kelsson
Life is Simple
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I use to think life was hard, struggling to pay the bills, keeping food on the table, punching the time-clock day-in day-out. I remember thinking that I was stuck in a rut with no way out. Then the day came that the world ended.
They descended on us with a wrath we had never known, the Bane and all their legions. A society that stood for thousands of years gone, wiped from the planet in a mere 5 days. Less time then the Bible said God took to make it. But we are not all gone yet. I was one of the few that were hurried to a gateway hidden on our planet long ago. Now on alien worlds, half a galaxy away from home, I fight with my fellow survivors so that one day we may return. It may not happen in my life time but it will happen, either that or there really is no point in fighting.
I use to think life was hard. I was wrong. Even now as nightmarish beasts prepare to destroy the few of us remaining, I see the simplcity of it all. Life is not complicated, you simply do or die.
- Liam Roth
Philosophy 101 from the Guy in the Next Foxhole
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What five things can't you live without? Don't rack your brain, it's a rhetorical question.
Would you believe that five years ago there was a TV show that asked that same question? Would you believe that someone actually listed "my cell phone"? I couldn't either, and that was BEFORE everything went to hell in a handbasket.
You see what I'm getting at, right? We, as a species have forgotten why we live. To hell with "why we fight"... that's an easy one. We fight to survive. Like we did millions of years ago when the first hairy ape killed a damn mammoth with a pointy stick. Between then and now we've become complacent and a little insane. Those crusties have given us the reason. Deep in our little simian souls we want to fight. Why do you think we've killed so many of our SELVES over the years? We're hard-wired to think that fighting equals survival.
See that's why I'm not real worried about humanity. Sure there are some dark times. Recently they've been really friggin dark times. If you're new to this war, you're gonna go nuts worrying about everything and everyone. You gotta get harder. I ain't saying don't care about your brothers in arms, cause they're what keep you alive out here. I AM saying stay frosty. When it hits the fan, don't think about dyin', think about how many crusties you're gonna take down before you get 'ported back to the field hospital. Hell, with this new logos medtech the only thing that'll kill ya for good is probably gonna do it quick.
I guess my point is that we're finally using all that innate survival instinct for what it was meant for. SURVIVAL! Next time you squeeze that trigger, forget about fear and live in the moment. Concentrate on doing your job as damn well as you can. It's the only thing that'll keep you from eating your gun when you hit the sack at night. Or when you're stuck in a foxhole on guard duty, for that matter. Now eyes front, soldier... we've got work to do.
-Sapper Cal Dayton
Fight or Flight
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Got caught in Imperial Valley last week. Bane keep trying to retake the valley from us, but for some reason I can't fathom, we keep holding them off. I wonder how long that will last. Those big buggers - Kael, I think the doctor called them - just wont die. We kept pounding them, but they kept pounding us harder. I lost a few platoon mates, and I saw a lot of blood that day.
After the attack broke, I went to see Dr. Soji in Ranja Gorge. Boy, he was a strange one. I thought he lost his mind or something. He sent me after some stuff, I don't remember what it was he wanted, but he kept rambling on about how he wasn't cut out for this tour. Said he wasn't ready for the position, or some such. Felt like punching him in the nose, though. Here we are, the ground-pounders; mud-monkeys running around saving lives from this attack or that incursion, and he's holed up in some remote base of operations. Must be nice to be safe in some prefab where the Bane leave you alone and be able to complain.
He sent me out twice again, finding this ingredient or that Bane body part. Finally, after I got his last item, I go to return to him, and I get accosted in the Ranja Caves. Then, after getting evacuated to Ranja, I return his items to him, and all he has to say is "What now?" It's like he didn't even know me. What a freak. Wouldn't even take his items. Now, I can't get rid of them until I am sure he wont take them, then I will just destroy them. Maybe I will keep them anyway, to remind myself of the fragility of the human mind.
— Tribal
A Connection
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Back on Earth, it was day to day for me. I worked, I played, I slept, and then got up to do it all over again. No real purpose, really. I felt I was just there; and though I loved life, I was just playing along, it seemed.
I was never truly "close" to my family, though I did love them all. I never married, either. It was hard to know who I could really say I trusted and counted on enough to love in that way. But, there were connections. People with whom I shared something; and maybe with nothing more than just a feeling that it was right and meant to be, I loved them more than life itself, and I would go to the ends of the Earth for them. As it turns out, I ended up doing just that - in the literal sense.
We were connected. Something out there told us that and kept us near to each other, even if some of us had never met, except maybe through the 'net. It was a feeling, a thought not fully realized or comprehended, but we knew. It was something inside. We didn't know about the Eloh, but apparently they knew of us.
Sometimes, I start to wonder if they made it away, too. But then I stop myself, because I know inside they did. They were now fighting, too, and learning about their feelings, their abilities, just as I am. I don't know where they are, but they are there. I still feel them, and I will always love them, and together we will find a way to help all of what is left - all that is left of humanity - to survive.
~ Del
Tabula Immunda
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Never liked writing, but between drops I started keeping track of what's happened to me since the invasion. It gives me a chance to keep my mind on something other than the Bane, keeps me from going nuts. Besides, it gives me something to do besides cook, shoot, and run for
my life.
I cook more than I write, and shoot more than I cook. I don't make anything fancy, just do a little home cooking. A soldier that calls himself "Sly Fox" sometimes tries out what I can whip up, sometimes does a favor for me in return. At least I know what not to eat because of him— I don't know what I'm doing. Some things on Foreas taste good, bad, or can give you the runs— you just won't know until you try. Boargar chops always end up giving Sly gas, but that's the first
thing he goes for every time. Problem is, no matter who I can sit down at my table, it's hard to want to get to know them. They might not make it back for the next meal.
Lost a buddy on my first drop at Imperial Valley. Most of us have lost someone since they got here, not to mention what we all lost in the invasion. Met my first buddy, Chalmers, in line on the other side of the wormhole. We had nothing to our names but the shirts on our backs. Chalmers would've made a good drinking buddy, but he didn't last long— blown to bits by a turret. I was told there wasn't enough of him left to fix him, even with the technology the Eloh gave us.
The officers tried to cheer us up when we were in training, said the slogan for the new age was "Tabula Rasa." Asked Chalmers what that meant, he said it meant we were given a clean slate. He didn't agree with them. He said after what we've lost, the slogan should be "Tabula
Immunda"— a defiled slate.
"Tabula Immunda" might be the right slogan, but I live by "Tabula Rasa." I don't really have a choice.
~ Breck Stevers
Under Siege
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Last night, we lost the LZ to a patrol of Thrax Soldiers. We fought most of the day and into the night, before being ordered to abandon post and re-group at the Lower Eloh Creek encampment. No civillians were to be evacuated, but I had my own plans. I'd seen too much bloodshed already.
There was an old supply tunnel from when construction first began on the Landing Zone outpost. I got as many people out as I could. When I went back for more, the outpost was overrun. Bots were repairing the shield wall, as Bane soldiers sifted through corpses for supplies. Everyone was slaughtered. I've never felt so much disgust, so much hate, ever before in my life.
I set two demolition charges on the supply tunnel walls, took aim and fired one shot to get their attention. Once I could see the yellow glow of their eyes, I triggered the charges. The tunnel must have collapsed behind me. I woke up today being dragged out of the tunnel by an AFS scout unit. They say I'm being promoted to Grenadier, but it's all the same. Every day I get up and fight.
John Fletcher
Commando 1st Class
Futures Past
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Sitting in an Observation Post near the Landing Zone always reminds me of home. The trees, standing tall and strong almost look like the ones back on Earth if I let myself look at them long enough.
Of course I'm not supposed to be thinking of how I used to take long walks and look at the trees, I'm supposed to be keeping an eye out for Bane forces on the move.
It's almost funny really, me fighting in a war. I had never even fired a weapon before arriving at the AFS training camp and had a pistol shoved into my hands. And now here I am, sitting with a rifle that fires bolts of electricity, a shotgun type laser, beacons to mark targets for carpet bombing, and body armor to make me harder to see..... and I only understand any of this stuff enough to use it. Funny, in a slightly horrible way.
A lot of soldiers in my unit tell me it's dangerous to think about the past, and what we've lost. That it's better to focus on the present, so we'll have a future.
But I know, at least for me.... thinking of the past gives me the heart and courage to face the present.... to fight for that future.
~ Alysianna
The Guy Who Gets Things
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Funny how in war people forget that not everyone’s only use is splattering Bane brains all over the Forean soil.
After all, all of us had lives before we became a race of gun toting soldiers, right?
Take me. I used to con myself into believing conning others was the only way to make a decent living. Fast forward to now, how do I keep life interesting? Being a mere soldier wouldn’t do it. I might turn suicidal. How does Breck over there keep living? Just killing Bane? No, he was a chef. He makes great Boargar chops. Her? Why, Jain over there was a dancer. She performs every weekend for the platoon. Sometimes when she dances her face almost seems at peace. It has a very different look on it when she has a chain gun in her hands though.
But how does a former con artist make do? Well, I’m the guy who gets things. You’d be surprised what people brought with them in the rush to escape Earth. You’d be surprised what they are willing to trade for something they desperately need. Makes them feel like they aren’t stranded here, I guess. Memories of home. I suppose you might say I provide the necessary arrangements most people now require to feel comfort again. Even if that feeling only lasts in between each Control Point rush, at least it isn’t dead, right?
Yup, I’m the Guy Who Gets Things. Question is, what do you need?
~Sly Fox
Get Use to It
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I set my boot on a new world yesterday. I don’t think I will ever get use to being stuffed through a worm hole. This place, Arieki they call it, sure is different from Foreas. The air here stinks, smells like the place is on fire. The one thing that is familiar here is the Bane.
I got my first big mission today, got to take out a mining operation. The drills exploded rather nicely when I triggered the charges. Then I ran into one of the Bane bosses. It was a good fight, so help me I never thought I’d say that, but I almost bought the farm when my net gun jammed. One of my clan members told me to carry a spare, may have saved my life…
I had the dream again last night. I could feel her next to me, almost smell her perfume. The shelling woke me up, more damn Bane. I miss her, miss it all, I even miss the commute to work. Now I spend my time trying to make the Bane pay for all I’ve lost. I hope they get use to it…
Soan Eldralor
Ranger, Forsaken Legion
-Lose or Lose-
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I spent my time seeking adventure and excitement on distant planets and in fantasy worlds. Hours and hours logged on any video game I could get my hands on, slashing and blasting bad guys for fun. Now, on a real distant planet with a real laser rifle in my hand, I find myself frozen. I struggle with every second of the day, wondering sometimes if I wouldn't have been better off just dying back on Earth.
My mind is battered by this war, my emotions have become fragile and out of control. My brothers were able to embrace whatever it was that chose us to fight this, soldiers finding glory in battle, like the heroes I pretended to be back home.
I don't have that within me..
The trigger of this rifle is attached to the fabric of my mind, and as I pull it, I unravel. I am no longer afraid of the Bane. I am now afraid of who I will be by the end of this war. I may survive this conflict, but the person I am will not, and I don't know which fate is worse.
-Markt
My Friend Larry
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Today I had to kill my friend Larry. One of the few people I actually knew from before the war. We use to go to school together and play baseball in the same team. Larry was always the nerdy type with his head in books, talking about genetic abnormalities and how humans were in the brink of a new evolution. He was a good friend. After high school I lost contact with Larry, he went to some prestigious college up in NYC to study genetics last I heard.
Next time I ever saw Larry was in the battlefield, as I was patrolling foxtrot. Except he wasn't a fellow AFS solider, he was a damn Machina. I knew it was him behind the cold dead look he had. I hesitated, my mistake since he didn’t. Before I knew it I was thrown back by his blast, landing only a few meters from him. He was not Larry, not anymore. I gritted my teeth and did what I had to do. I killed my friend Larry.
Damn bane killed everyone we knew and now they have us killing our own too. I shall not stand for this, WE should not stand for this. Let's put an end to it, the AFS way
~Sapper Thirsten
